The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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