Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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