I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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