Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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