Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
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She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
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High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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