I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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