no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize