It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he was CRYING into my vagina
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
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Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
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i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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