I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
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I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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