from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize