They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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