I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I love you.
Bad choice
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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