she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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