well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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