True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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