i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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