i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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