her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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