You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
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I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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