i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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