They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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