Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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