he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
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Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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