Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I party with great urgency now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize