I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize