No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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