We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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