I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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