"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize