we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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