She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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