It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize