Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize