Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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