at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize