OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
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We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
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Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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