he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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