It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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