Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize