Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize