You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
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Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
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I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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