Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The air was thick with penises
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize