The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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