I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
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you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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