Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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