I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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