i love accidental penises.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
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She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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