I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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