you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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