just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Success! We fucked roommates!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize